Chapter 109

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Translator: Harry Potta
Chapter: 109
Chapter Title: The Worst Night (4)
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“...I do not.”

“Look at me and say it.”

Laura swallowed a sigh and turned her head toward him. His dark eyes were staring as if to pierce right through her.

*‘God, forgive my lie, and help my words appear as truth to him.’*

“I do not.”

Her prayer was answered. His face crumbled with deep despair.

“So this is the heart of it, then. That you do not love me. That you feel nothing for me beyond friendship. Yes. If you loved me, you would think nothing of the world’s scorn. No, if you knew my heart, it would be impossible for you to be so terrifyingly detached. Yes. You do not love me. I understand it perfectly now.”

Laura sighed inwardly. She had succeeded in deceiving him.

*‘He will give up on me now. After being rejected like this, no gentleman would continue to harbor such affections. Perhaps he has even grown to despise the very sight of me.’*

Laura could foresee the end of their relationship. It was a terribly heartbreaking affair, but she soothed her heart by thinking it was inevitable.

But then, Mr. Dalton suddenly reached into the breast pocket of his tuxedo jacket. And from within, he pulled out something small and square.

“Miss Pendleton, you once said that friendship is more suitable than passionate love for sustaining a marriage. That love invites excessive desire, which breeds disappointment and hatred when not satisfied. I disagreed with you then. But, upon reflection, I find that a marriage based on friendship might not be so bad after all.”

Laura felt a sense of foreboding, for the small box in his hand distinctly reminded her of something.

“Miss Pendleton, we can live as an affectionate couple, like friends. If you wish, we can even have separate bedchambers. I will share everything of the Dalton family with you, expecting nothing in return. Therefore.”

With a click, he opened the small box. A diamond ring, emitting a bewitching light, was revealed before her.

“Marry me, Miss Pendleton.”

Laura was speechless, as if something were caught in her throat. She was surprised, dumbfounded, bewildered, and even a little frightened.

Why was he proposing again to her, who had rejected him so coldly? What was he lacking?

Laura felt almost nauseous looking at the delicately cut facets of the diamond. Judging by its size and setting, it was clearly a wedding ring passed down through his family for generations.

“Mr. Dalton, I am sorry, but would you please put it away?”

He did not move a muscle. Laura tried again.

“Forgive me for speaking so harshly. Would you please put this ring away?”

“I cannot.”

He continued, enunciating each word clearly.

“Over the past few days of your disregard, I have come to a desperate realization. That my very life depends on winning your love. If we are parted, I will slowly die in hellish agony. To avoid death, if for no other reason, I must win your affection.”

His voice was filled with desperation. She looked again at Ian’s complexion. From his pale, shadowed face, she could tell he had suffered greatly these past few days.

He looked sorrowful, desperately begging for her love.

That was why Laura found it so painful to be in a position where she could only say what she had to.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Dalton. I cannot marry you.”

His eyes wavered. His beautiful dark eyes grew sorrowfully moist, as if brimming with tears.

He spoke in a choked voice.

“If I lose you, I will die. I will not be able to sleep, nor eat, nor look after my estate, and I will pine for you until I am sent to heaven. Will you still… still forsake me?”

Laura forced herself to nod.

He lowered his head.

A deep sense of heartbreak emanated from Mr. Dalton.

Laura’s heart ached. She hated herself for inflicting such a deep wound upon him.

*‘I must say something to comfort him.’*

Laura tried to think of something to say to offset his pain. But nothing came to mind. According to his own words, his situation was tantamount to receiving a death sentence.

Laura deeply considered whether she should at least offer him the hope that their friendship could continue.

But suddenly, he took the ring and seized Laura’s left wrist.

“Ah!”

Before Laura, lost in thought, could even defend herself, he quickly slipped the ring onto her ring finger.

“What are you—!”

He stared intently at Laura. His tear-filled eyes held a blind light.

“I cannot lose you. You must marry me.”

His voice held the stubbornness of a boy clinging to the coattails of a loved one, refusing to let go.

“...Don’t do this. Please let go of my arm so I can return this ring to you.”

“The moment I let go, you will take off the ring. Then I will hold you like this forever.”

“Even if you hold my arm for all eternity, you will not get the answer you desire from my lips. Even if I am dragged before a reverend to take my vows, my only answer will be ‘no.’”

“Truly?”

His hand gripping Laura’s trembled faintly.

“No matter what happens, you will say ‘no’?”

“Yes.”

“Even if... I die?”

Laura’s eyes widened.

“The moment you take this ring off, I will find a pistol and shoot myself in the head. Even if you run, even if you say ‘no’ at the altar.”

“...Are you... serious?”

“I am.”

The color drained from Laura’s face.

He covered her left hand with both of his, pressing down gently.

To some, Ian’s actions might have seemed like a dramatic courtship. But to Laura, he just looked like a child throwing a tantrum to get what he wanted.

Laura was angered by his childish behavior. Who was she that he would wager his precious life, of all things? Who on earth was she?

Laura yanked her captured left hand away. And then.

*Smack!*

She slapped his cheek with all her might.

His face whipped to the side, and he blinked. A searing pain, as if burned, spread across his right cheek, and the taste of blood filled his mouth.

He slowly turned his head to gaze at Laura. This time, Laura raised her right hand. Pulling it back behind her shoulder, she slapped his other cheek with a sound that cut through the air.

*Smack!*

His left cheek burned.

His entire face throbbed. The blow to his left cheek had been so severe it had split his lip.

But more than the pain, he was shocked by the fact that Laura had struck him. He had never imagined Laura capable of violence. It felt as though he had witnessed something that transcended the laws of nature, like a dog smoking or a lion juggling.

The blindness of his passion began to recede, and he gradually came to his senses. That was how shocking Laura’s slaps had been.

“I am truly disappointed in you, Mr. Dalton. To use your own life as a threat just to win affection? Have you no shame as a citizen of a Christian nation?”

Her voice was sharp with reproach.

Laura’s reaction stung his heart, but he did not feel truly ashamed of his actions. He was that desperate. He could think of no other pretext to hold onto her.

He returned to being the composed Ian Dalton he usually was, wiping the blood trickling from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

“My actions deserved your contempt. But my feelings remain unchanged. I cannot live without your love. Even if I do not physically end my life, if you leave, I will fall ill and die an early death.”

“Come to your senses. You are not the hero of a melodrama.”

Laura retorted coldly.

“When you lose love, it feels like you will die at any moment. Your heart is torn, and you can find no meaning in life. But it is only for a moment. No one dies from love.”

“Countless people have lost their lives to lovesickness.”

“That is only in cases where they indulge in their state of dying for love until they ruin their health beyond recovery. Or, in cases where the thought of having lost everything makes their future seem so bleak that they throw their own lives away. Either way, it is just as foolish. To throw away a precious life for a feeling that fades once you've eaten well and kept busy.”

“How can you underestimate the emotion of love so much?”

“Because the world overestimates it. Love is a luxurious, emotional indulgence. It is nothing but a shell, an illusion like a Rococo watercolor painting. Love cannot prevent bankruptcy, a ruined reputation, or the discomforts of life. If I had ever once witnessed with my own two eyes a love that conquers all, I would not be so certain.”

Ian frowned. It seemed she was speaking of love in general, but in truth, she was devaluing her own feelings.

“I understand why you say such things. I know you have lived with hurt since childhood because of your parents. But please, do not be cynical about love itself. We will not repeat history. We will be a lawful husband and wife, and our children will carry the Dalton name. And my love will never change.”

“The very fact that you speak of ‘forever’ is proof that you are lost in a dream. Mr. Dalton. I am Laura Pendleton. An illegitimate child, born before marriage. A stain that has sullied a reputable family. My children will be gossiped about because of me. The Dalton name might serve as a shield against some of the scorn, but a son would enter public school only to hear insults about his mother, and a daughter would be classified as a flawed young lady in the marriage market because of her mother’s existence.”

“If that troubles you so, then let us not have children.”

“What about an heir?”

“We can do without one.”

“You have a duty to produce an heir. As the eldest son of the family who has inherited all its property, you must naturally fulfill your obligations. And more importantly, after we marry, are you not going to hold me?”

It was the first time such a direct topic had come from Laura’s lips. Mr. Dalton’s face flushed red.

“As I said before, if you wish, we can have separate bedchambers…”

“Judging by the way you just behaved, you are the sort of man who would pick the lock to my bedchamber before a month of marriage has passed.”

Laura let out a sigh.

“Let us end this draining argument. I will make my point. For the sake of my future children, if for no other reason, I will never marry a man of the gentry. I gratefully accept your kindness. I will also cherish our friendship as a precious memory. But that is as far as it goes.”

Laura removed the diamond ring he had forced upon her and held it out to him. He stared blankly at the ring.

The ring he had placed on her finger had returned. His love, unaccepted by her, had been sent back. A throbbing pain spread through his chest.

He meekly took the ring and placed it back in its case.

“What becomes of us now?”