Chapter 81

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Translator: Harry Potta
Chapter: 81
Chapter Title: Dear Miss Laura (3)
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“For decades, I have seen countless cases where marriages between couples with vast differences in social standing and birth have ended in misery. It is a truly unfortunate thing. Couples who unite for financial reasons alone are not immune to regret, but because they had no expectations to begin with, they resign themselves to their fate much faster. In contrast, couples who marry for love alone often end up utterly broken. They lack any practical gain, and the emotional disappointment on top of it creates a dual heartbreak. In the end, they come to see the person they once loved so dearly as an enemy.”

Laura took a breath and continued.

“Miss Fairfax, if what I’m saying is unpleasant to hear, you are free to ignore it. However, I ask that you remember it at least once when you are making the most important decision of your life. And observe the people around you. See for yourself just how happy couples who cast aside all practical matters and marry for love alone truly are.”

It was the first time Olivia had heard Laura state her opinion at such length. But what was truly surprising was Laura’s demeanor as she spoke. Her expression was serious, her voice firm, and her gaze was calm and steady. The gentle image she had always shown was nowhere to be seen.

But as soon as she finished expressing her views, Laura reverted to her usual, kind self. She smiled and said.

“Now, then, let’s return to more practical matters. You mentioned you recited a French poem for your friends earlier, didn't you? Please, let me hear it as well. Pay attention to your pronunciation and breathing.”

Olivia recited the poem as Laura wished, and Laura offered a few pointers on her delivery. However, Olivia didn’t truly hear the feedback. In truth, her mind was elsewhere throughout the recitation. Her teacher’s words kept echoing in her head.

It was a very realistic perspective. Olivia was so struck by how well her teacher understood her own situation that she felt a sense of respect.

As soon as her lesson with Laura was over, Olivia went straight to her mother and recounted their conversation.

Mrs. Fairfax was about to scold her daughter for meddling in her uncle’s marital affairs, but she fell silent when Olivia went on to share Laura’s position.

“Isn’t it amusing, Mother? Her parents were so thoughtless that they eloped and had her, yet she holds the complete opposite view. What do you call that? Irony?”

“That cannot be called irony.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s only natural for your teacher to have a realistic grasp of marriage. She has likely spent her entire life paying the price for her parents’ mistake.”

Olivia didn’t quite understand her mother’s words.

“The price? Are you saying she was treated like Judge Anderson’s illegitimate daughters?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, that’s ridiculous. No matter if she’s illegitimate, she’s still the daughter of the great Pendleton family. Who would dare….”

“It wouldn’t have been exactly the same as Judge Anderson’s daughters. No matter what, she’s a Pendleton, so no one would have dared to spit in her face. However, she would have been subjected to whispers and ostracism, just like them. In a place like London, dominated by such haughty individuals, they have more subtle and refined ways of tormenting people. The poor soul. How she must have suffered, spending her youth in such a place.”

“Then will she refuse Uncle’s affections, even if she knows how he feels?”

“Miss Pendleton is a clever woman, enough to have learned the ways of the world from her own misfortune. She has likely spent her whole life learning never to forget who she is. Never to step beyond her station.”

Mrs. Fairfax furrowed her brow in thought for a moment before murmuring.

“Congratulations, Olivia. It seems it will be difficult for your uncle and your teacher to be together. Just as you wished.”

***

That evening, Olivia mulled over the conversation with her mother throughout dinner. *It will be difficult.* Her ever-optimistic mother had said their union would be difficult. That meant it truly would be.

Strangely, that conclusion split Olivia’s heart in two.

The selfish and childish Olivia within her felt immense relief at this. Wasn’t it a fortunate thing that Miss Pendleton, a woman with the worst possible qualifications as a wife for her uncle, was so aware of her place? If Miss Pendleton’s resolve was that strong, she would refuse her uncle’s heart and remain merely a governess. For Olivia, it was the best news she could have hoped for.

But within the selfish and childish Olivia lived another Olivia. A kind and compassionate Olivia. And the kind and compassionate Olivia was feeling something entirely different.

She felt sorry for her teacher.

Olivia paused, her hand hovering over her soup, and looked at Miss Pendleton. She was scooping her soup, scraping the bottom of the plate as if with a brushstroke. It was a gesture so elegant it was mesmerizing every time.

Olivia had always looked at Miss Pendleton and wondered why such a woman had to work for a living. Now, the question was answered. She had been ostracized from society and excluded from the marriage market due to her birth.

‘If only her parents had married properly, none of this would have happened.’

Olivia thought to herself. A wave of sorrow she had never once felt for Judge Anderson’s illegitimate daughters washed over her.

In truth, over the past month, Olivia had known she was a good person, though she hadn't admitted it to herself. Kind, diligent, and intelligent. Despite viewing her with a thorny gaze born of jealousy, Olivia couldn't help but acknowledge that Laura was a good person.

And that teacher had been forced to bear the label of an illegitimate child, just like the Anderson daughters, and had been scorned just like those spinsters. For over a decade in society. The fact weighed heavily on Olivia’s mind.

The next day, during their French lesson on a garden bench, the sight of her teacher speaking to her in a soft, calm voice made the pity in her heart seem to burst forth. Olivia found herself asking impulsively.

“Teacher, do you not resent your parents?”

“My parents?”

“Because of the mistake your parents made, you’ve lost out on so many things. Isn’t that right?”

“That is true.”

Laura nodded calmly.

“If I had parents like yours, I would certainly feel it was unfair.”

Laura looked at Olivia. The girl’s crestfallen expression clearly showed her sympathy. Laura smiled. She reached a hand to the collar of her dress. Soon, a pendant necklace she wore inside her clothes emerged.

Olivia looked at Laura with a puzzled expression. Laura took out the pendant she wore around her neck and opened its lid. She showed it to Olivia. Olivia peered inside the pendant and gasped.

“Is that a painting of you, Teacher? Oh, no. The eye color seems different….”

“It’s my mother.”

“…She looks just like you!”

“We do look very much alike. Except for the grey eyes I inherited from my father, I received my mother’s looks entirely. When I became an adult, I tried on a dress my mother wore in her maiden days, and the measurements were exactly the same.”

“That’s amazing. Wow….”

Olivia stared at the miniature painting for a moment. It was a beautiful woman. Dazzlingly beautiful. Just like the Laura before her.

“This painting… my father secretly painted it when he first met my mother.”

Olivia looked up at Laura. Laura was smiling.

“My father first visited the Pendleton estate at the age of twenty-one to paint a portrait of my grandmother. He saw my mother that day and fell in love at first sight. But knowing it was an impossible match, he steeled his heart and focused only on his work. My grandmother doted on my mother and always kept her by her side, and it was the same when she was having her portrait painted. During the sittings, my mother was always embroidering beside my grandmother. My father would steal glances at her, and later, sitting in his own lodgings, he would capture the image of my mother he had held in his heart. In this small form.”

Olivia listened intently to Laura’s story. It was romantic. More so than any melodrama she had ever seen.

“However, the portrait neared completion, and my father had to prepare to leave. He couldn’t delay it. The agreed-upon date was less than a month away. On the final day of coloring, my father sat alone in his room and finished my mother’s portrait. The one he would place in a locket and always wear close to his heart. But that night, a maid came to his lodgings. She was my mother’s personal maid. She gave him a slip of paper. My father unfolded it. On it was written: ‘If you cannot take your eyes off me, then run away with me.’”

A shiver ran down Olivia’s spine.

“Wow, how wonderful. What happened next?”

“They ran away together the very next day. However, when my uncle found out, instead of reporting it, he immediately sent men to search the area. I think my uncle believed that if he caught them quickly, he could bring my mother back without any public scandal. But the two had already become husband and wife before a priest.”

“Then, you are….”

Olivia couldn't finish her sentence. She couldn't bring herself to say the word ‘illegitimate’ in front of her teacher. Laura finished the sentence Olivia couldn't.

“Yes, it’s ambiguous whether I can be called illegitimate. But marriage requires certain procedures, doesn’t it? As you know, Miss Fairfax, an officially issued license is required, and the marriage is only recognized upon registration in the Church of England’s parish records. Furthermore, at my mother’s age, she needed her parents’ consent to marry. But my father, having just arrived from America, was unaware of these matters, and my mother, terrified that my uncle would track them down and take her away, was desperate to become the wife of the man she loved as quickly as possible.”

Olivia held her breath, completely absorbed in her teacher’s story.

“In the end, they lived as husband and wife in hiding after a marriage that had no legal standing. Their plan was to go to Gretna Green, where they could have a clandestine wedding, and marry officially once the surveillance died down. However, my mother fell ill with the flu on top of morning sickness, making a long journey impossible. Eventually, she gave birth to me while she was sick, and she passed away in the process.”

Olivia stared at her teacher, dumbfounded. It was a more tragic ending than any melodrama she had ever seen.