Chapter 35

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Translator: Harry Potta
Chapter: 6
Chapter Title: A Sister's Advice
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“May I go to my room now? I’m a bit tired.”

Before I could even finish, Roena shook her head, her tone pleading. She squeezed the hand she held, wanting me to stay a little longer.

“Cisse, just a moment. Please, spare me a little more time. There’s just one more thing I want to talk about.”

*Is there something else?* I felt a sigh about to escape.

“What is it?”

“Well, um, I wanted to tell you, Cisse. That you shouldn’t have done that back then.”

“Roena, wait. Are you trying to give me advice right now?”

“Mhm.”

Roena’s cheeks flushed as she gave a shy nod. Her brightened face shimmered with a strange delight. It was the vile sense of superiority one sees only in an intellectual enlightening the ignorant.

*So she held me back just to show me this pathetic side of herself?*

In that moment, the nightmares of the past came flooding back. How many times had that expression broken me, again and again?

I barely managed to swallow my ragged breath and asked Roena.

“Did I perhaps make a mistake? What was it? Ah, I see. There was something you couldn’t say at the hunting grounds, out of concern for what others might think. You truly are so kind, Roena.”

“No. It’s just… I only want you to understand, Cisse…”

“Mhm, it’s fine. I’m just grateful for your kindness. I will listen with a joyful heart. Tell me. What is it that you want me to understand?”

“The truth is, Cisse, you shouldn’t have sent away the servant who almost hurt you like that.”

For a moment, I almost burst out laughing, but I held it in. I then spoke slowly, as if I couldn’t remember.

“A servant? What servant? What…? Ah, you mean the one who nearly got me hurt because he was negligent in managing the horses?”

“Yes, that’s right. You might not know this, Cisse, but handing a servant who made a mistake over to their master is a truly unmerciful thing to do. You should have just forgiven him instead.”

“Why is that?”

“Because he surely would have received a terrible punishment upon his return. There is no greater crime than endangering the daughter of a count. His mistress would have certainly punished him, if only for the sake of her own honor. But it wasn't on purpose, was it? It was clearly a mistake. Cisse, I believe that embracing a subordinate who has made a mistake is a virtue a lady should possess.”

Roena lifted her eyes to look at me. The smile had vanished from her face, replaced by pure sincerity. It was the uniquely virtuous face of Roena de Vischwartz, the one everyone praised so endlessly.

“If you punish people every time they make a mistake, everyone will come to dislike you. When you can embrace them, do so with all your heart. Show them mercy and generosity. I want that for you, Cisse.”

*Yes, this is you. This hypocritical act of pretending you can embrace everything—this is the Roena I despise.*

Like a scene from a comedy, I made a great fuss, praising her pretense.

“Oh, I see. Thank you for telling me. I hadn’t thought of that at all. But I have one question, if I may ask?”

“Of course.”

“How can you be so sure it wasn’t on purpose? I’m still not quite sure myself.”

*Not sure? I don’t even want to understand. But I was curious about her answer. I wanted to see what kind of disgusting words she would use to amuse me.*

“That’s quite simple. No one would act with a malicious heart. Above all, if you just believe in the other person’s conscience and good nature, you’ll know.”

I couldn’t stand it any longer. If this continued, I might have shoved her aside and burst into roaring laughter.

*The other person’s conscience and good nature? How utterly ridiculous. Even I, standing right here before you, am a bundle of malice aimed at you. Who are you to tell anyone to believe in the goodness of people?*

*Ah, Roena! Roena! You are still beyond saving.*

“Cisse?”

Roena called my name cautiously. I asked her with a gentle smile.

“Yes?”

“No, it’s just… you seemed to be making a scary face just now.”

“Surely not. You must have seen wrong.”

“I suppose so?”

I nodded and said with emphasis.

“Of course. Roena, thank you for the advice. I’ll say it again, but I’m so glad to have you. Please, continue to give me advice like this in the future. It would make me so happy.”

“Of course, I will. Anytime.”

I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. Then I whispered into her ear, which was flushed with embarrassment. These were the words I had truly wanted to say to this generous girl, armed with kindness and gentility, who believed everything should be forgiven.

“By the way, Roena, why aren’t you curious about me getting hurt?”

*Why is the mercy you speak of so freely not extended to me?* I asked Roena, feigning curiosity, all the while savoring the sight of her staring at me, her face deathly pale.

In the past, I often used to wonder. What would it feel like to see Roena’s face fall apart? I was curious how ecstatic it would be to see the expression of someone not physically hurt, but mentally broken, someone who had plunged deep into the end of an indescribable abyss.

But all I ever saw was her earnest gaze, filled with pity, looking at me with commiseration.

That is why this moment brings me such joy. Because the sight of the so-called Angel of House Vischwartz, trembling like a young bird caught in the jaws of a beast, was so utterly amusing.

It was the primal shame that comes from having a layer of oneself peeled away without realizing, exposing the naked flesh of one’s inner self. Herein lay the vile pleasure that can only be tasted by deeply observing another’s soul.

I pressed Roena, my subtle tone urging her on.

“Tell me. If you truly care for me, if you consider us close enough to rush over and give me advice like this.”

She was now trembling noticeably. I wanted to laugh out loud at the sight of her face—a canvas of confusion, shock, and misery, revealing the very inner torment I had so longed to see in the past—but I restrained myself.

To think that this expression, which I could never draw out despite countless attempts, appeared with just a few words… It makes the Cisse of the past—that foolish, idiotic girl—seem so pathetic. Why didn't I, before I died, realize it was this simple, this easy?

“C-Cisse… I, I mean, I…”

“Roena, you truly make me think about so many things. Yes, you would never know how tangled my thoughts were in the past. It was as difficult and arduous as exploring an unsolved mystery. Thanks to you, I came to fully understand the meaning of the word ‘anguish.’ So, will you give me the answer? The kind, gentle, and very clever Lady Roena, who is so gracious as to give advice to her foolish stepsister.”

I reached out and gently caressed her cheek. It was a feigned tenderness, just enough to make us look like loving sisters. A smokescreen to support the words that would follow.

“Or am I worth less than that servant? No, are we even sisters at all?”

*Could there be a sword in this world with a sharper edge than the tongue? I dare say there is not.*

*Well, is it time for Roena’s excuses? To be honest, the me of the past would have stood here foolishly, unable to react to the tears that would now be flowing.*

She would have been stunned as the tears turned her into the victim, unable to do a thing. But I am different now. I will not be so naively defeated.

I watched her face, her eyes welling with tears, and gave a faint smile. The sight of Roena’s face—so pure and beautiful it had earned her the name of an angel—slowly distorting with tears was a rare spectacle indeed.

I wanted to enjoy this expression a little longer, but the hallway where I stood was a place that could easily draw the attention of others, so anything more was forbidden.

Thus, there was no need to experience firsthand how sharp her weapon was, or how great its impact. I only needed to show her that the weapon called ‘tears’ was no longer effective.

“Shh. I’m the one who wants to cry, Roena. Or are you planning to burst into tears here and embarrass me even more? That’s too cruel. You wouldn’t cry so easily unless you were aiming for something, would you? If not, won’t you please stop?”

With my finger, I swept away the moisture from the corner of her eye. The tear of another on my fingertip felt thick and muddy. I would have rather dipped my hand in mire.

What more needed to be said when her deeply distorted, flustered face was so repulsive I wanted to retch?

What was even more dreadful was that I was the one who now had to make Roena understand this whole situation.

“The pity in my heart is open to all, but I believe it should only arise in situations where it’s warranted. So shh, and hurry up and make me understand.”

I took a step back from Roena. Then, in a firm tone, I declared.

“Above all, I’m not benevolent enough to let everything slide. So perhaps you should be more careful about who you give advice to? Or do you consider something like this to be trivial?”

“C-Cisse.”

“Don’t come any closer!”

“That’s not it. I…”

Her hand, suspended in mid-air, trembled finely. Shaking pitifully, unable to find its direction, it was likely a frank expression of its owner’s heart. But what did any of that matter? It was nothing more than an act for show.

A snake hisses, exhaling a breath drawn from deep within its body. Its narrow, slitted eyes gleam with anticipation for what is to come.

“You’re so cruel. Making me say such things. In a single moment, Roena, you dragged me through the mud. You made it clear to everyone that I’m worth less than that servant. How kind of you. Even offering forgiveness on my behalf. Well, are you satisfied now?”

“Cisse, please. Don’t. It’s not like that. It’s really not.”

“Then what is it? Aha! Was it an expression of superiority toward your stepsister, who couldn’t even utter a word of forgiveness?”

“Cisse!”

“If this is the direction your ‘advice’ was heading, I’d rather remain in my disgraceful state.”

I smiled at Roena, who was desperately holding back her tears, and bid her farewell.

“Is that all for today’s lesson, Professor Roena? It was a truly informative session.”

*If she had even the slightest consideration for me, she wouldn’t commit the discourtesy of stopping me from leaving.*

Fortunately, Roena had some conscience left. She neither shed tears nor showed any greater emotion, letting me go in a state of awkward suspension.

Though her eyes met mine with a pitiful expression, as if she had lost the entire world, the truth was I felt nothing at all.