Chapter 10

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Translator: Harry Potta

Chapter: 10

Chapter Title: The Count Family's Temperamental Master (10)

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“It's irreversible. No matter how hard I try, it won't change. How am I supposed to overcome that? How am I supposed to live in this hell?”

A grinding of teeth echoed behind his words. The huddled figure suddenly shot upright. The sheet draped over him fell away, revealing his face. I widened my eyes in shock. His forehead was stained red.

“Your forehead...”

He snatched my fumbling hand, which hovered in the air. As I turned my gaze to him in surprise, he seized my face. His long bangs were pushed back.

I instinctively shoved him away. Don't do this! Stop it!

“Let—!”

“Look at me!”

He tried to grab my wrist and face, but I twisted away, dodging his hands. Our struggle sent us tumbling onto the bed. He swiftly mounted me, grabbing at me as if determined to hold me down.

His disheveled bangs kept revealing his face. Don't look. Please don't look at me. I pushed at his face and pounded his shoulders, desperately trying to shove him off, but it was no use. He finally caught my face as I thrashed to escape.

His bony fingers clutched my hair like he was ripping it out. He thrust his face close to mine, shouting as I groaned in sharp pain.

“Look at me!”

Only then did I open my eyes and meet his gaze.

Our ragged breaths mingled. Staring into his clouded emerald eyes, I remembered—he was blind.

Right. This man can't see me. He can't look at me. A wave of relief crashed over me.

“How am I supposed to live like this? What am I supposed to believe in? Do you think you know my heart? The terror of seeing nothing—do you know that? Whether someone's goodwill toward me is real or laced with poison, whether they mean to harm or protect me—how could you possibly understand that suffocating helplessness?”

His milky eyes brimmed with venom. The hand gripping my face trembled. It wasn't fear. It was frustration.

“My life's a failure. There's no light ahead of me anymore.”

He was lamenting his fate.

“If you try...”

He scoffed. That's all you've got? Disappointment filled his eyes.

“'Hang in there, you can do it, effort will overcome it'—I'm sick of empty words like that. They're just talk. You say it easily because your eyes work fine. Don't spout such ridiculous nonsense. My eyes will never see again.”

Each word spat out like chewed gristle carried his rage. His frantic breaths reeked of fear.

“So what am I supposed to do? What can a blind cripple like me possibly accomplish...?”

His twisting face looked so sorrowful. Like a child left alone in an empty place. How could someone with so much wealth, honor, and power look so heartbroken? I could only gauge his sadness—I couldn't truly understand it.

He was right. In the end, I was just an outsider.

“So you're going to die? All alone, wasting away like this.”

“Is that not allowed? I can choose death over life, can't I?”

“You can.”

“...”

I gripped the back of his hand, which still held my face. His skin was still cold.

“You can choose.”

I could have spouted pretty platitudes. But I didn't—his pain ran too deep. Pretending to comfort him would have been arrogance.

“Life isn't a fairy tale. They say God gives everyone trials they can bear, but I don't buy it. This hard? Whether to endure it or not is my choice. You're exercising that freedom, so who am I to stop you?”

“...”

“Just give me a heads-up before you do. I don't want to deal with a sudden corpse.”

I need time to prepare myself, too.

I pried his hand from my face and pushed his chest. This time, he slid back easily. I slipped out from under him.

The moonlight outside the window still shone brilliantly. Beautiful enough to show him. But even if those curtains were drawn, the light wouldn't reach Vincent.

“I'll stay by your side until then.”

Looking back, Vincent stared blankly.

“I'm not scary to you. You can kill me anytime you want. Like I said before, no one will come seeking revenge if I die. Don't worry about it.”

“...”

“And one more thing—you're wrong, Master. Sometimes, a world where you can see is even more horrific.”

Like a mother abandoning the child she bore and fleeing. Like dying from a father's beatings, starving in poverty, or being sold to a brothel by your own flesh-and-blood father—like my siblings.

Like my life.

“You've got so much, Master. You have tomorrows ahead. So why not try a little, just to breathe a bit easier right now? To make even one more day enjoyable.”

“...It's all pointless.”

“I'm not saying overhaul everything at once. Just try it as if it's your last. Whatever it is. Eat on time, bathe in warm water, wear fresh clothes, step out of this room for a change.”

“...”

“If it gets scary, run back and hide. You've got this space to retreat to. Hole up here until you calm down, then try again. With your wealth, power, and servants who care about you in this grand estate—what's so frightening?”

“All of it terrifies me. The wealth, the power, the attention, this mansion—everything.”

“Better than having none.”

At least you can escape.

“You're misunderstanding something, Master. Not having those things is far scarier.”

I'd seen people like him often—people without sight. Newborns discarded by parents for being born blind, elders whose eyes were gouged by disease, young heads of family who lost their vision in accidents yet had to support their kin. They too lived in eternal darkness like Vincent. But they couldn't huddle in comfort like this.

To survive, they had to work. For them, starvation was more terrifying than blindness. They endured scorn, abuse, and mockery just to beg for one more day's breath.

Everyone lives in hell.

Some from poverty, some from rotten parents, some from cruel accidents, some from a sightless existence—yet they all face tomorrow.

“One step at a time, and change will come. Whatever form it takes. Like sunlight piercing this dark room.”

“...”

“Do you know how gorgeous the moon is right now?”

Beautiful enough to show you.

Maybe then he'd stop thinking of death.

But Vincent didn't lift his head at my words. He wrapped himself tightly in the sheet again. I reached out and lifted his face. A sliver of light seeped into his clouded emerald eyes.

Beautiful.

His eyes caught the moonlight and sparkled.

It was the first time I'd faced someone this closely. Everyone always looked at my face in horror, so I kept my head down to avoid their stares.

My youngest sister Alicia often shot me ashamed glances. Father would click his tongue at the sight of me. Their looks terrified me. That's why I never cut my bangs. Long hair at least hid my ugly face a little.

But now...

“Don't look away.”

My heart pounded. Maybe it's okay. He can't see anyway. I could be honest. For the first time, I faced someone up close.

So my feelings could reach him, as his had reached me.

“This is real.”

I stroked his reddened forehead. The skin was torn and bruised. Had he smashed it against the wall in terror during his nightmare? To keep from sleeping. Maybe to confirm this was reality.

“Be brave.”

You might hate it, but I'm trying. There was no turning back anyway—not since I was sold for gold.

Alive or dead, it would be here.

By this blind master's side.

In secret.

His emerald eyes shook with confusion. Then slowly, his trembling fingertips cupped my face. His misaligned gaze shifted, locking onto me.

Our eyes met.

“You...”

And in that instant, a strong force whipped my face to the side. Huh? My vision flipped in a blink. My body tumbled backward. Thud! A familiar stinging pain shot through the back of my head.

...What? What's going on?

I lay on the floor, blinking in daze. It felt familiar.

“I've noticed it before, but you talk way too much useless crap.”

A calm voice rang out. Snapping out of my stupor, I sat up. He was already back under the sheet, lying on the bed. The trembling nightmare victim was gone.

“Didn't I tell you to watch your mouth?”

And now a cool warning, too.

His usual bitchy demeanor made me question reality for a second.

“Watch it next time.”

“...I'll be careful.”

So his rotten temper was back in full swing.

I rubbed the sore spot on the back of my head from hitting the floor and glared at his now-peaceful face. He furrowed his brow slightly.

“Stop staring. Before I gouge your eyes out.”

Damn, he notices that fine. I obediently lowered my gaze as warned. My energy drained away. I slumped my shoulders and rubbed my dry face.

As he buried his face in the pillow, I stood. I'd taken just one step toward the door when...

“Where are you going?”

“Ah, back to my room.”

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“You said you'd stay until I calm down.”

“You seem plenty calm now.”

“Not at all. My heart's still racing from all your 'I'll stay by your side' nonsense. It's scary.”

“...”

No, I just said something nice! I bristled, but remembering who was in front of me, I clamped my mouth shut.

“Stay here. Until I fall asleep.”

“Sure, sure.”

He scowled at my half-hearted reply. Ignoring him, I plopped back down on the floor and glared at the moon through the curtain gap. All the while imagining beating him senseless in my head.

Soft breathing sounds came from behind me.

His restored peaceful breaths continued on like that for a long time.