Chapter 51

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Translator: Harry Potta

Chapter: 51

Chapter Title: The Count's Secret Maid (4)

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"I'm not throwing you away. I'm just putting you somewhere safe for a while."

"That's the same as throwing me away."

"I'm not."

I shook my head. Unbelievable. What if he forgets about me after saying that? What if he feels relieved just to have gotten rid of the nuisance?

I wasn't convinced. I couldn't trust his words. He'd wanted to kick me out from the very beginning. This incident might just be the excuse he needed to send me packing. To those in power, the worth of a servant was that insignificant.

If he ordered me, I couldn't refuse. I knew that, but knowing it didn't make me any less opposed. I didn't want to be alone. I shook my head, trying to wrench my hand free. I didn't want to hear any more.

He gripped my escaping hand tightly. Then he pulled me into an embrace. The distance that had grown between us closed in an instant, and my body fell into his arms. His arm wrapped around my back, holding me with all his strength.

I buried my face in his chest. The pounding of his heart echoed in my ear. He was trembling with anxiety. Just like me.

"Trust me. I'm not abandoning you."

He whispered softly into my ear.

"I don't want to hurt anyone else anymore. But it'll be hard to avoid that. That's why I'm at least trying to keep you out of it. I can't protect you if you're by my side. So... I'm sending you somewhere safe."

"......"

"I'll bring you back to me. I promise."

"......"

"Promise me."

His hoarse voice trembled. He made the vow as if to soothe me.

Vincent was right. If the person who stabbed Lucas saw me, then I was in real danger. Living came before dying. He was trying to protect me. Knowing that—knowing his sincerity so well—I couldn't bring myself to say no anymore.

"Do you remember what I said? Stay by my side."

"......Yes."

"You protect yourself too."

My face twisted at those words, but I forced the corners of my mouth up. A weak laugh escaped me. I raised both hands and clutched his back. Then I hugged him tightly.

"You absolutely can't forget about me."

"Yeah."

"If you do, I'll haunt you as a ghost for the rest of your life."

"Okay."

Laughter rang in my ear. Worried he'd take it as a joke, I emphasized it once more.

"I'm serious."

"I know."

As he said it, Vincent turned his head. The wind blowing in from beyond the window tousled his hair. I leaned my face against his chest again. I didn't even dare blink, afraid my tears would soak his shirt.

We stayed like that for a long while. And deep down, I had a premonition. That this really was goodbye.

The preparations moved quickly. Vincent instructed Isabella to arrange for me to head to Novelle's villa as soon as possible.

In the meantime, I had nothing to do. I just attended to him as usual or holed up in my room. Ethan hadn't come by since that day, and the mansion without even Lucas felt eerily empty, like a tomb.

Maybe that's why my mind kept going blank. I was gripping the mop handle, wiping the floor and staring vacantly out the window, when Vincent suddenly spoke up.

"Want to go for a walk?"

It was so out of the blue. He must have sensed my bewilderment because he added that the weather was nice. He was getting back to healthy habits, enough to make suggestions like that.

"Don't want to?"

"No. Let's go."

I finished mopping the floor and put away the cleaning tools. I helped him get ready to go out, then fetched his cane. Lately, he'd been practicing walking alone with it. He used the cane to probe ahead, sensing what was around him. So I handed it to him again this time, but instead, he set it aside and held out his hand.

"Why your hand?"

"You have to support me."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you."

He clenched and unclenched his fist once. It felt like he was urging me to take it quickly, so I gladly grasped his hand.

Leading him by the hand brought back memories of our old walks. Things had been so chaotic lately that we hadn't even strolled, let alone read books. Tea time had been out of the question too.

"It's always the woods."

"Nowhere else to go."

"True enough."

He stared blankly ahead. Though he couldn't see, he seemed to enjoy the walks by feeling the outdoor air, the textures, and the sounds.

As we walked along the path stretching deep into the woods, I asked,

"What's at the end of this path?"

"A wall, probably."

"Just a wall?"

"Just the wall."

"Just a wall, huh......"

Even walking like this, all he could perceive was a wall. The words slipped out in a murmur, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. He was blind but pushing himself, struggling alongside me, and the end of that path was a dead end. It felt just like my own future.

I hung my head, feeling depressed for no reason. Silence stretched between us for a moment. Then suddenly, he tugged my hand sharply.

"Want to go back to that place from before?"

"Where?"

"The one you said was so pretty you wanted to jump into it."

A place so pretty I wanted to jump into it...

"The field full of white flowers?"

Vincent nodded.

"Remember where it is?"

"More or less."

"Then let's go."

He agreed readily, but I hesitated a little. Memories of Lucas guiding us there flooded back. His face, brimming with anticipation to show it to us, was still vivid. And the moment it twisted in pain...

Terror surged up again, choking me. When I didn't respond, he gripped my hand tightly.

"Calm down."

"B-but."

"He took you there hoping you'd be happy. Even after he was gone, so you could go anytime and soothe your heart while living in this mansion. Honor that wish."

"How do you know?"

"That's the kind of guy he was."

Vincent forced a smile. But it was a kind one. His face, now filled out nicely, looked good on him.

"Let's go. Now I want to see it."

"Okay. Let's."

In the end, his words convinced me. I held his hand firmly and turned around. I took slow, heavy steps. It was just a trip to a flower field deep in the woods, but it felt strangely frightening. My pace slowed even more, but he followed without complaint.

We pushed deep into the pathless woods. Brushing aside branches, navigating the uneven ground. Without a trail, I had to rely on memory.

Finally, deep in the forest, the white flower field came into view. It was as fresh and beautiful as if time had stopped there.

"We're here."

"I know. The grass smell is overpowering."

"Most people say it's a nice scent."

He just shrugged at my words, exuding an arrogance that said no one could tell me otherwise if I thought so. That familiar attitude put my mind at ease. I let out a short laugh and led him into the flower field.

Flower petals swirled in the wind. It was as beautiful as falling snow. Tilting my head back, petals riding the breeze rained down like snowflakes.

"Something fell."

"Petals. Falling like snow."

Vincent brushed the petals off his shoulder and hair. His sullen face showed no emotion. What a dry man.

"You should say it's pretty at a time like this."

"Is it?"

"Yes. Really pretty."

"If you say so, that's enough."

I looked at him curiously. His expression was still sullen. He wasn't exploring the surroundings or savoring the sensations like he did on the woodland path. That's when... it hit me. He hadn't wanted to come here for himself.

"You're not saying you came here for my sake, are you?"

"You've seemed so down since that day, it's worrying."

"Why?"

I wasn't asking why he thought that. I was asking why he was suddenly being so kind. Why are you caring? It's not like you.

Vincent slowly released my hand. Then he faced me. Even though he couldn't see, his gaze fixed precisely on me. I saw myself reflected in his emerald eyes. As if he could see me standing there a step away, his pupils didn't waver.

The bangs obscuring his vision parted in the wind. My confused eyes were revealed. White petals drifted down, crossing between us.

"Scared?"

he asked. Normally, I'd have asked what he meant.

But I knew what he was asking.

"Yes, I'm scared."

"Me too."

My eyes widened. I'd expected mockery for being a coward, but his answer was unexpected.

Sensing my fluster, he chuckled briefly.

"You go quiet when you're flustered."

"......"

True to his words, I was even more flustered and at a loss for words.

While I fumbled, he stopped laughing and extended his hand. A white petal landed on his palm. He cupped it gently, felt it, then opened his hand to let the wind carry it away. The petal from him tickled my skin as it brushed my hand.

"I might have to go public with my condition soon. It means getting used to people swinging swords or guns at me. Maybe that's for the best. Words can kill more cruelly sometimes."

"......"

"I always knew I couldn't live like this forever. I'm the count. I can't stay holed up in my room. There are too many people I have to answer to. But accepting it isn't easy. It's scary, honestly. Just thinking about facing people makes my hands and feet shake. Pathetic, right?"

"......No, it's not."

"Pathetic or not, I have no choice. That's who I am."

His words came out flatly, but their weight was anything but light. It pressed down on my chest. I couldn't even begin to imagine the burden of responsibility he carried. He was a giant of a man, one I'd have to crane my neck to look up at. Proving it, his body—now filled out more than before—looked sturdy.

Unlike me, who'd fallen apart after Lucas's incident, Vincent was thriving. Almost as if he'd been waiting for this. I knew he'd been preparing to venture outside his room lately. Eating alone, bathing, changing clothes, standing on his own two feet and taking steps.

He was practicing living independently.

Of course, even without me, other maids or valets would attend him. But there would be times he'd have to step up himself. Face unseen opponents, read their intentions. He was preparing for that.

He wasn't the only one scared. He must be terrified too. Yet he couldn't just back down. That's why he was striving, preparing more desperately than ever right now.

"If it's too much, it's okay to let one thing go."

"What are you talking about?"

"You don't have to try for my sake."

"Who said I was trying for you?"

He tilted his head as if he'd misheard. His face scrunched up just a bit. No, why ruin the mood when things were going so well?