Chapter 74

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Translator: Harry Potta

Chapter: 74

Chapter Title: The Count I Met Again (4)

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I slightly bowed my head to hide my face. Right at that moment, I regretted not having bangs to shield me. If I'd known this would happen, I never would have cut them. Regret surged up inside me. I tried my best not to show my fluster as I took a step forward.

As I stood in front of Joelly, she handed me the floral ornament. Then she pushed Alicia, who was standing beside her, aside.

"Anne, hurry up. We're short on time."

"Ah, yes. Understood."

I glanced once at Alicia before positioning myself behind Joelly. First, I combed through her disheveled golden locks and tidied them up. Then I twisted and pinned them into an elegant updo. I secured it with small pins here and there, finally placing the flower ornament at the very top.

Joelly examined her reflection in the mirror and smiled in satisfaction.

"Anne, you've got such skilled hands."

"Thank you."

I gave a silent bow and stepped back. Joelly turned once to inspect herself fully, then looked toward Vincent.

"How does it look?"

"……."

"How does it look?"

"Not bad."

His tone was as perfunctory as ever, but this time Joelly beamed with pleasure as she gazed back at her reflection. I kept my eyes fixed on the floor. I just wanted this moment to pass quickly. As I thought that and casually turned my head to the side, my gaze collided directly with Vincent's. I startled and quickly looked down, but it was already too late—we'd made eye contact.

"Oh, I haven't introduced Anne yet."

Of all times, Joelly chose that moment to speak up.

"This is the servant who attends to Robert. She helps out the nanny. Oh, and she's sisters with the maid who serves me. They don't look much alike, do they?"

Sisters? His voice echoed with the question. I could feel his gaze on me. My right cheek stung. Without even checking, I knew Alicia was glaring at me with displeasure.

But with all the attention suddenly on me, I couldn't pretend not to notice. Hesitating, I turned my body and bowed at the waist. That didn't feel like enough, so I dipped my head low as well.

"……Pleased to meet you. I'm Anne."

Even uttering those few words made me tremble. My slightly parted lips quivered. I swallowed dryly in secret and tried to calm my pounding heart. Speaking slowly and deliberately, I made sure my voice wouldn't shake. A simple, standard introduction like this should suffice.

His gaze prickled the top of my head. There was no reply. His demeanor felt stiff, but in a way, that was only natural. I smiled bitterly and waited calmly for him to acknowledge me.

"We've met before."

In that instant, my heart plummeted. My bewildered emotions laid bare. I hesitantly lifted my downcast eyes, meeting his emerald gaze fixed intently on me.

I opened my mouth several times before finally closing it. I wanted to ask what he meant, but I couldn't bring myself to.

Does he recognize me?

Has he figured me out?

The cloudy haze had lifted from his eyes, now gleaming with sharp clarity. Those emerald depths slowly scanned me from top to bottom. Even with my head bowed, without my bangs to hide behind, he might have glimpsed my plain face. Realizing that, I fought the urge to flee.

But I don't want to hide.

If he's truly recognized me...

"Ugly."

……Ugly?

"I think that's what Robert called you."

"……?"

He murmured low, as if pondering. I racked my brain over what he could mean. Then it hit me, shattering the感動 that had nearly brought tears to my eyes.

"I saw you when you came out of the forest with Robert. Probably."

"The... forest?"

The nanny's sharp glare shot toward me immediately. This time, my heart raced for entirely different reasons. Nanny, it's all my fault.

The usually stern nanny with Robert burst into flames. I stole glances at her, gauging her mood, only to lock eyes with Vincent once more. I'd lifted my head halfway without realizing, fully exposing my face to him. I'd missed my chance to look away.

He widened his eyes upon seeing my face. Then his gaze shifted to Alicia, then back to me.

I instantly understood what that brief flicker of distortion in his expression meant as he looked at me.

"You don't look alike at all."

"……."

With that, he turned to Joelly.

"That's good enough. I'll wait outside."

"Got it."

Vincent glanced at sleeping Robert after Joelly's reply. He brushed the golden locks once before rising from the sofa. With the same calm stride as when he'd entered, he left the room without a backward glance. The door closed behind him, and his figure vanished.

Even after the door clicked shut, my eyes remained glued to it. His words echoed in my ears. I tried to decipher what they truly meant.

'You don't look alike at all.'

'The sisters are too different.'

'You're too hideous.'

Words I'd heard somewhere before rang out one after another.

Shame flushed my face.

'You're lucky because of that face.'

That was what a village woman had said to me on my way out after loading the washed clothes into a basket. There's only one river in the village, so the women gathered there to gossip while doing laundry. They couldn't hide our family's affairs or others' secrets.

Her sudden words made my mind turn sluggishly. Not understanding, I simply looked up at her. Arms crossed, she clucked her tongue in pity.

'Without that face, you wouldn't be alive right now, breathing like this. You'd have been sold off like your siblings or beaten to death. You should be grateful you were born with it.'

'…….'

'That's a blessing too.'

Hearing that, I rolled my eyes. I pondered what she meant by "grateful." But no matter how much I thought, no answer came—only more questions stretched out.

'Why?'

'What?'

'Why is that something to be grateful for? Why should I see being born like this as a blessing? Just because I'm living in place of my siblings—does that make it a blessing?'

It was pure curiosity. I couldn't fathom why my looks were something to be thankful for. Could surviving under that devil spawn truly be called a blessing? I was genuinely curious. Did she really believe that?

The woman faltered. The other women watching from behind her averted their eyes and glanced around nervously. My gaze swept over them before fixing back on her.

'This isn't a blessing. It's a tragedy.'

My life was nothing but tragedy. With that, I lifted the corner of my mouth—the only part of me that showed. My stifling bangs were the product of that tragedy.

This was no stroke of luck, let alone a blessing. But I gave up. Struggling against something that could never change was pointless. That was my life. Nothing changed because of me, so I couldn't change either. I'd even wondered if dying might have been a happier end.

I'd urged Vincent to find courage, yet I couldn't muster any for myself. The thought never even crossed my mind.

So when I saw that grown man—a noble count, no less—huddled on the bed, trembling in fear, I pitied him freely. Someone even more pitiful than me. When he acted like I was the only one he had, it made me feel good in a way. There was someone who needed a wretch like me. It sparked a bit of pride.

Vincent reminded me of my second brother. Not in personality or looks. It was that precariousness, that urge to protect him, that made me treat him like a little brother.

That's why I was glad he clung to me, the one attending him. I wanted to help. Even as I fled, my wish for his eternal happiness was sincere.

But he wasn't my brother, and he didn't need my worries. Though he'd lost his sight, he was still a noble in the end. My presence had been meaningless from the start. Maybe he never needed my help at all. Only now did I realize it.

And I remembered my true self too.

Splash— The flung water soaked my face and dripped down. The dark droplets plopped onto the floor. My body was drenched in an instant, reeking of sour filth.

"Oh dear, sorry!"

The maid hurried over in a fluster, claiming she hadn't seen me there. But I'd suddenly darted out as she was dumping the water. I told her I was fine and rubbed my stinging eyes with the back of my hand. When my bangs shifted up, I quickly bowed my head again.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-Yes, I'm fine."

Leaving the flustered maid behind, I ran off. It didn't feel like my body was dirty from the muck. The sour stench seemed like my own body odor. Water droplets trailed behind me wherever I went. A maid scrubbing the hallway wrinkled her nose. Head down, I quickened my pace.

The emotions stirring since facing Vincent had only grown stronger.

The man I'd met again was startled by my face. He'd tried not to show it, but I'd caught that split-second reaction. Bewilderment. It was the exact same look everyone gave when they saw me. Any faint hope shattered, turning even joy into regret in this reunion.

'I want to hide.'

What if he knew I was that maid who'd attended him? Would he get angry about my disappearance? Be glad? Disappointed? No, he probably couldn't even imagine it. The insolent, brazen maid in his memory wouldn't be some wretched hag like me.

In the end, I was nothing but an embarrassment to Vincent.

Back in my room, I washed my body. Even scrubbing off the filthy muck left a lingering grime. It still felt like I smelled. No matter how much I washed, I felt dirty. I rubbed until the skin peeled and stung. Touching my nape, I found blood.

"If only I were a lizard."

Then I could shed my skin and become beautiful. I could cast off this shell and stand proudly before that man in a new form.

But I'm human. I can't molt. Unless I die, I'll never change from this 'me' in my lifetime.

'Don't do this. You promised not to think like that.'

Crying and wallowing in sorrow is easy. But accepting it and moving forward is hard. Sorrow doesn't strike just once. It pops up out of nowhere, stabbing and dragging me into despair. If I crumble to it, that's the end.

I steadied my breath and doused myself in cold water. I reined in my briefly shaken heart.