Chapter 82

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Translator: Harry Potta

Chapter: 82

Chapter Title: To You, Whom I Couldn't Erase Even If I Tried (6)

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However, it wasn't long before he handed me the letter. I bowed at the waist once more and offered my thanks. The letter in my hand felt strangely heavy. It was the very letter I'd been waiting for so desperately, yet now it was nothing but a burden. When I pressed it to my chest, I could feel my heart thumping wildly.

"If you have nothing more to say, may I go now? I want to deliver it to the young master as quickly as possible."

"One more thing."

"Yes."

"That person you met... by any chance..."

"......"

"Was it... a woman?"

My eyes, which had been wandering the floor, widened in shock. My mouth opened and closed as something welled up inside me, but I swallowed it back down. Finally, I managed to force out the words.

"No. It was a man."

"......I see. If you find out where he got it from, tell me right away."

"Understood."

Only then did Vincent step aside. I hurried straight into Robert's room. That brief moment as I brushed past him and shut the door felt longer than ever.

Before the door could fully close, a large hand shot out. The tip of a shoe slipped through the crack, blocking it shut. Vincent spoke urgently.

"Anything at all, even the smallest detail. If you learn something, tell me."

"......"

"I'm counting on you."

"......Understood."

The hand gripping the door fell away. The shoe retreated. As the door clicked shut, my legs gave out beneath me. I nearly collapsed to the floor in a heap but caught myself with a start. What if he'd noticed how tense I was? I crawled forward awkwardly. It wasn't until I'd put some distance between myself and the door that I could finally clutch at my trembling heart.

Damn it. Had the tension vanished in that short time? I'd told myself to stay cautious. I'd grown complacent in the peace, dulling my sharp nerves. I lamented the mistake I'd made, all because I'd only been thinking of making Robert happy. I'd overlooked how even a single clue could summon up so much.

Vincent's interrogation from moments ago came back to me. What had he wanted to know? Could it be...

"If he's looking for me."

No way.

Yeah, no way.

I let out a hollow chuckle. As if. He couldn't even recognize me when we were standing face-to-face like this. Don't delude yourself. No matter the circumstances, I'm just the maid who fled the count's household. Employer and employee, nothing more. There's no reason for him to be looking for me. Unless he's afraid I'll spill his secrets? But those secrets were useless now anyway.

Unless someone told him outright, he'd never figure out who I am, even in death. No, even if someone did tell him, would he believe it?

The words I'd uttered to myself stabbed at my chest. There must be some other reason.

But if he really was looking for me... would I be happy? I'm not sure. The desire for it to be true clashed with the wish that it wasn't, leaving me in pain. I pressed my fingertips hard against my chest. What would I even do if he was? Nothing would change.

I looked up. Robert was still fast asleep. I'd finally brought the letter he'd been waiting for.

"I'll give it to him later."

As a surprise gift when he wakes up. He'd be thrilled. For now, that was enough. I squeezed my eyes shut and suppressed the emotions swelling inside me, ready to burst.

Darkness pooled on the floor. It crept up slowly, wrapping around my ankle. Running was no use.

In the pitch-black void where not even moonlight pierced, only faint breathing echoed. It wasn't mine. I was alone, yet the sound came from somewhere.

I took a step forward, following the noise. In that instant, a pale hand shot out from the darkness and seized my ankle.

I startled and shook it off. It let go limply. The hand fell to my feet and was swallowed by the shadows.

In the impenetrable dark, a hoarse voice rang out again.

"......Ra."

The breathing grew ragged.

"Po......la......"

The voice, mangled by labored breaths, mumbled indistinctly. I couldn't make it out. I focused, straining to hear.

Then it happened.

"Paula."

A clear voice cut through, and moonlight poured down.

The space before me brightened. Only then did I notice someone sitting there. His shoulders slumped, head bowed low.

Who are you? I asked, but there was no response. I bent down and sat before him.

Hey. I grabbed his shoulders and shook. He reacted by grabbing my hand tightly and shoving me away. The force sent me tumbling backward.

I steadied my shock and quickly scanned him. Slowly, he lifted his head.

The moment I saw his face, my eyes flew wide open.

You...

"Gasp."

I snapped my eyes open. I frantically looked around, searching for something. Darkness. Darkness. More darkness. Nothing but black. Unable to bear it, I sat up.

Feeling the texture of the sheets under my hands, my eyes adjusted to the dark as I scanned the room. Once I realized where I was, my held breath burst out.

As I panted, something smacked the back of my head. A pillow landed right beside me.

"You're so noisy."

Alicia grumbled irritably and rolled over. I stared blankly at her back, then clutched the sheets. After swallowing dryly several times, I finally curled up.

Again. This dream again. This nightmare. My whole body felt chilled, as if soaked in water. The nightmare from my past revived sensations I'd forgotten. Whispers echoed in my ears. Run away. Run now. Please, just go.

"I have to leave."

The thought hit me suddenly. The tension that had eased coiled through my body again.

When I realized I'd returned here, I was terrified. So terrified that for days, I huddled under the sheets each night, trembling in fear. It was all I could do. Accepting this sudden reality was too hard.

This place scared me. Beyond the warm memories lurked terror. I'd seen kind people bleed out and die, and someone had tried to kill me.

The place where I'd learned that a glamorous life didn't mean happiness. Memories of that day still haunted me vividly, as if reminding me never to forget.

I'd agonized endlessly over fleeing. But we were surrounded by forest, with no idea how far it stretched. Getting lost would be disastrous. Adventuring alone was too risky.

No, there was a way.

"That place. The space in the forest."

The secret path Vincent had taken me to once, long ago. He'd said it led to the village. If true, it was the only way to escape this mansion undetected.

"It's probably still there."

But going to check was difficult. Being away too long would draw attention, and wandering the woods alone held too many dangers. At least the temporary hiring was a blessing. Once it ended, I could leave then.

At first, it was for my safety. But as I grew accustomed to life here, the suffocating fear gradually faded. Maybe because there were no real threats, unlike what I'd imagined. It might seem complacent, but without danger, the fear dulled.

The butler, Isabella, even the employees I'd eyed a few times—none recognized me. No one in this mansion knows who I am. That strange relief made me think, "Just one more day."

And then I met Vincent. I learned he was doing well. That he could see. That was enough. What a relief.

But what about the others? I wondered. Just one more day, and I'd know. I'd see them too.

One more day, and more, until the temporary hiring ended. By then, even if I wanted to stay, I'd have to leave. It would give me an excuse.

But... yesterday's encounter with Vincent changed my mind. What if he discovered I'm that maid? I couldn't imagine a good outcome.

It's not the punishment for running away that scares me. The butler who tried to kill me was frightening, but I could endure it. My life is familiar with death. What truly terrifies me is...

Him being disappointed in me.

That's why I don't want to stay long. That was the reason I'd tamped down my growing hopes.

"Get it together."

Not much time left now. I slapped my cheeks and pulled myself together.

"Hey, are you gonna keep doing that?"

"Doing what?"

Alicia was snapping at me first thing in the morning. I rubbed my stinging cheeks and gave her a questioning look, but she hurled a pillow at me.

"You're so loud every night! If you're gonna groan like that, go do it outside! I barely slept because of you! My skin's gonna get ruined. So annoying!"

Alicia peered at her reflection in the mirror. She grumbled about her nails being ruined.

I stared at her blankly. Alicia, who never skipped her morning primping, seemed impressive. Unlike me, just counting the days until I could leave, she seemed more eager than ever to stay.

At first, she complained endlessly, but at some point, she adapted to life here. Now she did her tasks obediently without causing trouble from her temper.

She even catered perfectly to Audrey and Joelly's whims. It was the first time I'd seen her butter up anyone besides Father. It was so unfamiliar it was almost scary.

Alicia knew how to win people over. Just recently, I'd seen her laughing and chatting with the other maids. From their conversation, I realized she was digging for info on Vincent.

"Have you ever seen the master of this place?"

"I hear he's an incredible handsome man."

"Oh, yes. I see him often. And I know him quite well."

Alicia smiled smugly. The other maids looked puzzled.

"Know him well? How?"

"Who knows. Maybe we had a connection in the past."

Alicia tossed her long hair behind her ear and lifted her chin. The maids pressed for details, but she said no more, clearly enjoying their curious stares.

I was dumbfounded listening to it all. Anyone would think she had something special with Vincent. I stuck out my tongue at her brazenness and slipped away. After that, I'd spotted her mingling with other maids and servants several times.

"Find out anything good?"

I asked casually as she focused on her mirror image. She glanced at me through the reflection and smirked.

"Who knows~?"

She trailed off suggestively, as if she'd hit paydirt. I was curious but didn't pry.

I washed up simply and changed clothes. As I steeled myself for the day ahead of leaving the room, I felt a prickling gaze on my back. Turning, I saw Alicia, fully made up, staring at me blankly.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing."

Alicia shrugged. Then she slipped out first. Wondering what that was about, I followed after her.