Chapter 77

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Translator: Harry Potta
Chapter: 77
Chapter Title: Holding Back
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A storm raged through the wide-open office window.

But the room's owner hadn't even thought to close it.

The raindrops he would normally despise seemed, just a little, to resemble the person on his mind.

“...”

Naturally, he couldn't focus on his work.

He had just snapped his third innocent quill.

“My lord, it is Redius.”

A voice came from outside.

Diello glanced toward the window.

This wasn't the time for official business.

“Come in.”

What could it be?

The question surfaced in his mind, which was dazed from sensing the water.

“Yes.”

—*Click.*

As the door opened and Redius entered, his dark gray hair was swept back by the wind.

“The window.”

He hadn't seemed to expect it to be so wide open.

It wasn't as if Redius, of all people, wouldn't know.

That a stormy day like this, damp and humid, was what Diello despised most.

But now, he was willingly enjoying the raindrops, the water.

“What is it?”

Diello asked. With his eyes closed, his expression was one of suppression.

Redius watched his lord quietly.

Diello, who had always suppressed his true nature to maintain his image as a weak lord, often wore such an expression.

But never before had he worn it with a smile of such thrilling excitement playing on his lips.

Perhaps it was because what he was suppressing was his very self.

Redius glanced at the window and spoke.

“She seems to be a fine person.”

“Yes.”

The reply came quickly, even though he hadn't said who he was talking about.

Redius nearly let out a dry laugh.

“So fine that you can't seem to take your eyes off her, my lord.”

At those words, Diello opened his eyes. His blue eyes met Redius's.

Though blue was hardly a color of passion.

A heat emanated from the lord's eyes. A heat that had yet to cool.

“Lately, it’s getting harder and harder to hold back.”

The corners of his lips lifted with difficulty. Redius watched Diello for a moment.

‘Lately’?

Does that mean you were holding back before?

Redius briefly recalled the recent past.

From Rick, who had claimed to see love in his lord's eyes, to Pielle, who had first dismissed it as nonsense only to later mull over his words.

As time passed, a look of disbelief began to spread across his face.

“Haven't you been unable to hide it for a long time?”

Redius finally asked.

At his words, Diello visibly faltered.

“...”

A mixture of trouble and confusion crossed Diello's silent face.

Surely not.

“...You didn't know?”

It was that obvious?

At Redius's words, Diello pressed a hand to his forehead.

“Just how far has it...”

For him to speak with such confidence meant that his feelings were exposed in many places, and Diello looked dizzy with the thought.

“For now, it's just Rick, Pielle, and myself. Though the maids on the fourth floor seem to have caught on.”

Redius subtly glanced toward the door.

He, who was quick to catch wind of the family's rumors, already knew.

*They say you carried the perfume to her with a gaze dripping with honey.*

He couldn't bring himself to say it.

*And how you glared at the maids as if to say you'd kill them if they didn't leave?*

He couldn't mention that story either.

While Redius hesitated, unable to continue, Diello managed to speak.

“...I was holding back.”

At that, Redius finally pressed a hand to his own forehead.

“So you were holding back.”

So that was you holding back. To others, it looked like you were charging straight ahead with no restraint.

Redius looked at his lord.

He was staring at his own hands, steadying his breath.

It was obvious what thirst he was trying to quench with the raindrops that occasionally spattered into the room.

The lord was burning quietly.

“...It seems you've reached the limit of your endurance.”

In truth, it looked as if he hadn't been holding back at all, but Redius said it anyway.

Redius Argenta, who had married after a passionate romance, was confident that he knew a thing or two about the state of a man in love.

By now, he's probably…

Unable to see anything else.

“My lord.”

Diello's gaze turned to him. Redius opened his mouth to speak.

“If this is you holding back, then perhaps there is no point in holding back at all.”

It was truly a loyal and direct piece of advice.

At his words, Diello blinked blankly, uncharacteristically, before letting out a hollow laugh.

Ha. A short breath escaped him.

Diello rubbed his dry face and lowered his hands.

“Is that so.”

If Redius had come all this way to tell him this, then it must be true.

But I'm sure I was holding back.

Diello looked down at his hands again. The feeling of her soft skin brushing against his fingertips was still vivid.

He had barely managed to suppress the desire to delve deeper, just a little, a tiny bit more.

He hadn't just suppressed it; he'd trampled it down. He told himself he couldn't.

Otherwise, he felt he would do more than just let out a heated breath—he would reveal the depths of his desire for her.

To his bride, who, with her eyes closed, was shy of even her own flushed cheeks in the mirror.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, his bride didn't seem to notice.

Or perhaps she was deliberately looking away.

He recalled her in the mirror, her in the ship's cabin.

‘...Ah.’

Croire, who had let out a sweet breath—Croire Argenta.

She had been at a loss while looking in the mirror.

Even as she melted at his touch, she struggled to keep her composure.

‘...Diello.’

Startled by the kiss, Croire had accepted him, her hands tightening on his shoulders.

As if she were tense, as if she might push him away at any moment.

Yet even when he offered her his sword, she did not push him away.

But that was as far as it went.

She did not permit him, drunk on her sweet scent, to delve any deeper.

Having completely captivated him, her eyes seemed to say this:

Don't fall in love.

Her eyes, which seemed to say as much, only made his fingertips burn hotter.

There was only one thing standing between them.

The existence of Pero. The contract they had first made.

‘When the real Pero appears.’

This contract marriage will be broken, and Diello Argenta will gain power through Pero's awakening.

And he will wipe out the House of Duke Alloje.

They had clearly promised as much, but keeping that one promise was becoming so difficult.

No, he hated it.

Pero. What the hell was that damn Pero?

He was frustrated with his situation, trapped by the nonsense of destiny, unable to properly show his own heart.

‘Though the contract didn't state that Pero absolutely had to be Benia.’

Diello thought of this fortunate fact.

No, it wasn't entirely fortunate.

Since he still hadn't told Croire about Benia.

If you were to find out, what would happen?

Would you still try to leave?

...It would have been better if you were a debt collector chasing me down.

You just keep giving endlessly to this ungrateful man. Making it impossible not to love you.

The incident at sea, the incident at the swamp—if not for Croire, Argenta would have been in trouble.

Argenta does not forget a debt of gratitude.

‘You should rest too, Diello. It was hard for you, in the water.’

‘You said you hate being surrounded, whether by water or fire.’

‘A bad memory... might have surfaced, so get a good night's sleep today. Just focus on sleeping.’

‘Nightmares wear a person down more than you think.’

The woman who worried so much for him was the very person who had just recently suffered from a Nightmare.

“Just what...”

What did you dream of?

What was your nightmare? I wish I could make it disappear for you.

If only you would let me repay even a fraction of this great debt.

But you probably don't even know what you've given me.

“This is driving me mad.”

He closed his eyes.

There was only one other time he had failed to repay a debt of gratitude.

During the fire, when he was six.

The girl trapped with him. She had shaken him relentlessly as he buried his face between his arms and knees.

‘I can't control fire.’

Even though he was an Argenta, the girl wasn't disappointed when he said he couldn't control fire.

Instead, she squeezed his hand tightly.

‘Let's at least try once.’

‘We're going to die if we stay like this anyway. Shouldn't we at least try something before we die?’

‘It's better than dying without trying anything.’

Her words gave him the courage to wield his fire affinity.

When he finally gathered his courage and stood up.

—*Fwoosh!*

When he had truly taken control of the flames that threatened to consume him.

The girl was nowhere to be found.

He searched for the child who had been trapped with him afterward, but he was told the only other child who happened to be trapped there was Benia.

But Benia had never spoken to him, let alone spared him a glance.

Because she knew that the young him was someone who couldn't even look properly at the flames in a hearth, much less control fire.

Besides, the girl's voice, so vivid in his memory, was far from Benia's.

So it couldn't have been Benia.

Who could it have been?

“...”

There had been only one person to whom he had failed to repay his gratitude, and now it seemed there would be a second.

“I’ve incurred so many debts.”

He closed his eyes.

If one must repay a debt, there are many ways to do so.

So why do I.

Want to possess her instead?

Not to give, but to hold her in my hands?

This was absurd.

Knowing that, he still wanted to beg.

Give yourself to me.

Please allow me to have you completely.

“Are you thinking of my lady?”

Redius asked then.

“About my lady, the fake Pero.”

His voice was calm, yet it sounded cold.