Chapter 82

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Translator: Harry Potta
Chapter: 82
Chapter Title: A Lover's Nightmare
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A harsh downpour hammered against the window. The sound of the rain, audible even through the thick curtains, roused Aileen from her sleep.

The moment she opened her eyes, she startled and glanced to her side. A man was sleeping soundly, oblivious to the world. Seeing him in such a deep slumber cleared her hazy mind.

This was the second-floor bedroom of the brick house. Judging by the clean feeling of her body, it seemed that after she had passed out, he had washed her and carried her to the bedroom.

A blush crept up her face as she thought of the people who would have to clean the ruined sofa later. Aileen made a mental note to at least strip the fabric from the sofa, her eyes darting around the room.

The bed, originally meant for Aileen alone, was narrow for the two of them. It was just large enough for them to lie down, provided they were pressed tightly together without a gap. Aileen belatedly realized she was using Cesare's arm as a pillow.

His other arm was wrapped around her waist. His toned, muscular arm had a comforting weight to it. Aileen gazed at Cesare. Amidst the sound of the rain, his quiet, steady breathing could be heard.

Sonio’s words suddenly came to mind. It was something he had mentioned in passing while teaching her the various duties of the Grand Duchess.

“His Excellency has barely been able to sleep lately.”

The old butler’s voice had been filled with worry. But he hadn't elaborated, quickly changing the subject. It was likely because he didn’t want to burden Aileen with a problem she couldn’t solve.

Thinking back, it seemed Aileen had rarely seen him in a deep sleep. Though they had slept in the same bed every night since their marriage, Cesare always woke with eyes that showed no trace of drowsiness. This was perhaps the first time she had seen him sleeping so soundly that she could hear his breathing.

As she watched him sleep, the memories of their night together naturally surfaced. Among the moments that had passed in a blur, one scene stood out with particular clarity.

“Do you only say it at times like this?”

The face that had smiled like a boy's kept coming to mind. What had she said to make him say that? Her memories of that time were foggy, her mind having been in a daze. She hadn’t even gotten a proper look at his smiling face.

*I should have looked more closely instead of being in a stupor.*

She wanted to record in her diary, in detail, how he had smiled. Her hands itched to write, as she hadn't been able to keep a diary since she started staying at the Grand Duke's residence.

She had been documenting her life with him for over a decade. The thought that others might find it a morbid habit did cross her mind. But Cesare had already read her diary anyway.

*If he disliked it, he surely would have said so.*

She was lost in her thoughts, studying his face, when Cesare’s eyes opened. Aileen stopped breathing just as she was about to greet him.

The sound of the downpour filled the space around them. Blood-red eyes stared directly at Aileen.

Cesare watched her without a word. The man staring at her expressionlessly felt like a stranger. As she froze, feeling a sense of unease, Cesare slowly smiled.

“Aileen…”

His voice, slightly husky from just waking, held a strange allure. It was similar to the low voice he used during their lovemaking.

Cesare slowly sat up. Thinking he might be looking for water, Aileen started to get up as well.

He swiftly moved on top of her. Aileen, in the middle of sitting up, found herself lying back down. She looked up at him with wide, startled eyes. It was then that she realized the source of the unease she had been feeling.

There was something strange about Cesare’s gaze. Though their eyes were clearly met, it didn't feel like he was looking *at* her. His gaze was hazy, like someone lost in a dream.

“Cesare…?”

As she cautiously called his name, Cesare slowly reached out. Aileen, without any suspicion, watched him calmly. She waited for his touch, assuming he would stroke her hair or caress her cheek as he usually did.

But Cesare’s hand closed around her throat.

“...!”

The force of his large hand clamping around her neck instantly cut off her breath. Aileen struggled to break his grip, but there was no way she could overcome the strength of a man who had been a soldier for so long.

She parted her lips, desperately trying to draw in air, but the hand on her throat was resolute. Cesare placed a kiss as light as a flower petal on Aileen's face as he tightened his grip. With his other hand, he gently brushed her hair back.

Why? What for?

She couldn't understand it at all. This was the man she had shared her body with just hours before. They had delved deep into each other, sharing their affection.

The fact that it was Cesare, of all people, strangling her was unbelievable. The very hands that had always treasured and cherished her were now harming her. Aileen let out a choked, agonized sound.

“It’s okay, Aileen.”

Cesare soothed her more tenderly and gently than ever before.

“Shh, that’s a good girl. It won’t hurt so much this time…. It’ll be over soon.”

His low voice scattered by her ear. He whispered as he kissed her lips, which were quivering in a desperate attempt to breathe.

“I love you.”

The moment she heard those words, the fight went out of her. Her limbs, which had been struggling to pry Cesare’s hand away, fell limp.

She knew. There was no sincerity in those words. It was surely just a sweet nothing, meant to make her docile so he could kill her with ease.

But it didn't matter. Aileen was no longer afraid.

*Because Cesare told me he loved me.*

Having dared to hear such words, perhaps it was only natural that she pay the price with her death.

*There must be a reason why I have to die.*

If Cesare was killing her, there had to be a clear reason. Even if it was a reason she couldn't possibly fathom… still, Aileen was okay with it.

Her life had belonged to Cesare from the very beginning. Since she was his possession, it was his right to take it away.

Having ceased all resistance, Aileen looked at Cesare through her fading vision. She was glad that the last thing she would ever see was his smiling face.

Aileen quietly awaited death. Her consciousness began to dim.

Suddenly, she thought of Malena. The woman who had come to her, wanting to become the most beautiful corpse in the capital, asking for a way to die beautifully.

She hadn't understood her feelings then, but now, it felt as if she understood them perfectly. For the sake of the one who would see her last moments, Aileen wanted to die in a way that wasn't unsightly.

She was struggling to pull the corners of her mouth into a smile for him when it happened.

“…”

The face of the man who had been smiling sweetly, like a flower laden with honey, hardened. He released his grip on her throat. As her airway cleared, Aileen greedily gasped for air.

“Hah! Hh, hkk…”

While she instinctively opened her mouth wide to breathe, Cesare immediately got out of bed. He walked to a small table and picked up the letter opener used for slitting envelopes. Then, without hesitation, he sliced his palm.

“Hhh, Ce-Cesare…!”

The smell of blood filled the small bedroom. Witnessing his self-harm, Aileen cried out his name in shock, forcing out a voice that would barely emerge.

“Your hand, stop, you’re hurt…”

She spoke through the pain, but Cesare, staring directly into her eyes, sliced his palm with the letter opener again.

A second red line was drawn across his trembling hand. But as if that wasn't enough, Cesare brought the knife down on his own palm several more times. Fresh blood trickled down his skin. Drip, drip. Droplets of blood fell to the floor, forming a puddle.

Aileen struggled to her feet. Though she swayed as if she would collapse at any moment, she stubbornly walked over and embraced Cesare.

His hand, which had been repeatedly hurting itself, finally stopped. Aileen clung to him and wept. Forgetting even the throbbing pain in her throat, she cried out.

“Please… hkk, stop…. Rather, me, hkk, just do it to me…”

Trembling, she held out her hands to Cesare. The red eyes that had been fixed on Aileen slowly moved. Cesare’s lips parted as he looked at her small, white hands.

“…Aileen.”

His breathing was unsteady.

“You are.”

Cesare asked, his eyes trembling faintly.

“You are my Aileen, aren’t you?”