Chapter 39

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Translator: Harry Potta

Chapter: 39

Chapter Title: Departure and Resolve

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"Young Master, it's time to depart soon."

After completing all preparations for the journey north, Jeremy, his attendant, spoke up. Herwin nodded weakly, his face shadowed and listless.

A few days earlier, he'd left the mansion buzzing with excitement about meeting Lucia. But ever since returning, something had been off with him.

He spaced out now and then, as if lost in thought, and sighed several times a day.

Even now, he wore that deflated expression, barely registering the words.

"What on earth happened with Lady Agnes?"

Unable to hold back any longer, Jeremy asked. He could clearly see Herwin's shoulders tremble faintly.

"Nothing happ... "

"Spare me the obvious lie that nothing happened."

Jeremy cut him off rudely. Herwin shot him a sharp glare, but Jeremy remained unfazed.

"Hah, I must be getting soft these days. You're even interrupting me now."

"You've got to be a little bold to serve you properly, Young Master. And haven't you been acting strange these past few days?"

Jeremy snorted as if to say that was nothing to be intimidated by. Herwin clicked his tongue briefly and ruffled his messy hair.

"It was really nothing. Just Lucia confessing like she always does."

"And you turned her down, as usual."

It was true, but for some reason, Herwin didn't want to nod along so easily.

Jeremy eyed Herwin's reluctant expression for a moment before sighing.

"I've always wondered. Why won't you ever accept Lady Agnes?"

Herwin's gaze turned icy in an instant. He hated questions like that the most.

Sensing the shift in his mood, Jeremy quickly changed tack.

"This isn't pity or sympathy for Lady Agnes. I'm just curious about what you're thinking."

"......"

"Call it pure curiosity."

Only after confirming there was no malice in Jeremy's words did Herwin smooth out his furrowed brow.

"I'm under no obligation to tell you."

"Fair enough."

Jeremy gave up pressing further. But watching Herwin hesitate to respond nagged at him.

'He's the one who rejected the confession, yet he looks like the one who got dumped.'

Anyone could see Herwin appeared heartbroken. It puzzled Jeremy. Why wouldn't he accept Lucia? From what he could tell, Herwin clearly liked her.

"Still, you should reject her more gently. She'll get tired of it eventually."

"Quiet. Worry about your own love life instead. I heard you got drunk a few days ago and went looking for an ex."

"Who the hell's spreading that nonsense?!"

Jeremy bristled, his sore spot hit.

Herwin chuckled at his attendant's outburst, then recalled what Jeremy had just said.

Lucia... getting tired?

Maybe that would be best for both her and him.

Throb-

As he moved to step forward, a heavier ache settled in his chest. But it was so faint that Herwin tilted his head in confusion.

"Young Master, you really need to go now."

Jeremy had snapped back to attention and held open the carriage door. Herwin hurried aboard.

"Safe travels, Young Master. We'll hold down the fort here."

The mansion servants had all gathered to see Herwin off.

Herwin glanced at the gray-haired head butler and hesitated.

"If any letters for me arrive here..."

"Yes, we'll forward them north as always."

The butler's kind smile, full of understanding, eased Herwin's discomfort a bit.

Soon the carriage rolled forward. Herwin closed the window and fiddled with the pocket over his heart as the capital faded into the distance.

Inside was the handkerchief Lucia had given him.

"I'll come back, and it'll be like always."

Her reaction had been a bit more intense this time, but surely after the north, they'd slip back into their usual easy friendship.

Just like always.

Three days after being rejected by Herwin. For exactly three days, Lucia hadn't set foot outside her room.

On the first day of heartbreak, her muffled sobs echoed through the mansion all day, leaving everyone subdued.

The second day brought dead silence, her door locked tight, leaving them worried she might be harboring dark thoughts.

Only on the third day, hearing the faint strum of a guitar from her room, did they finally relax.

But even then, Lucia allowed no one inside except Sain—not even her mother, Julian.

On the morning of the fourth day, Lucia finally emerged and descended to the dining hall.

Yohan and Julian, who had been picking at their food with gloomy faces, startled and stared at her.

Her blue eyes, which had looked half-dead when she returned days ago, were a little clearer now.

"Good morning?"

"...Yeah."

"Lucia, come here! Hungry, dear?"

Unlike Yohan, who barely managed a grunt, Julian quickly pulled Lucia to sit beside her.

Julian hurriedly ordered breakfast from the servants, all the while stealing glances at her daughter.

She wanted to ask if she was okay, if anything hurt, if she was still struggling—but the questions piled up unspoken.

Just three days apart, and Lucia's aura had changed so much.

Her vibrant smile still sparked life in others, yet an invisible wall now surrounded her.

It wasn't just Julian who noticed. Yohan sensed the shift too.

Soon Lucia's food arrived, and the three resumed their interrupted meal.

"...Daughter, is it to your taste? If there's anything you want, just say. I'll tell the chef."

Gathering her courage, Julian spoke up. Lucia paused mid-cut and turned to her.

Unlike the emptiness Julian expected, her blue eyes were as clear as ever.

"Yes, I will. Thank you for worrying, Mother."

Julian, who'd been tense, chattered away now that Lucia seemed back to normal.

Lucia responded earnestly, even tossing in jokes.

"Feeling better now, are you?"

Yohan's grave voice filled the dining hall.

He'd broached the topic they'd all been avoiding. Julian shot him a frantic look.

Lucia met his steady gaze with calm and smiled brightly.

"Yes, I'm okay now. Sorry for worrying you."

Despite her positive reply, Yohan frowned.

"...Fine, if you say you're okay."

"Yes, of course."

Julian, who'd been on edge fearing a rift, relaxed her hunched shoulders.

"Father, when can we start the marriage meetings?"

Yohan paused mid-sip and stared at Lucia. He hadn't expected her to bring it up first.

After a beat, he answered.

"Whenever you're ready."

"Then could you arrange them starting tomorrow?"

"Lu-Lucia, isn't that too soon?"

Julian tried to intervene, but Lucia kept her eyes only on Yohan.

"Is that possible?"

"We'll do it your way."

"Thank you."

Lucia's blue eyes darkened further.

"Just know it'll take time to send letters to the families. As you saw last time, there are four candidates. You can meet one you like, or all four and pick from them."

"I'll review the materials you showed me before and let you know."

"Alright."

Yohan rose. Pausing at the door on his way out, he turned.

"...Don't push yourself too hard."

His gruff voice softened slightly, laced with concern for his daughter.

Lucia felt a surge of emotion and nodded.

After Yohan left, a brief silence fell. Julian, understanding his feelings all too well, clasped Lucia's hand warmly.

"Lucia, no need to rush. Go at your own pace. We're always here."

"...Yes."

Basking in Julian's gentle comfort, Lucia quietly ate. Her bowed head hid her distorted expression.

Tears welled briefly, but she lifted her chin and composed her churning feelings.

Back in her room, Lucia sat at her desk and skimmed the betrothal candidate files Yohan had prepared.

There were four in total—from viscount houses to marquess, men of varying status and up to five years older.

One was even a year younger.

Each file detailed personal info, family members, occupation, standing in the family, assets, medical history—down to the tiniest detail.

The thoroughness was impressive.

"...Father must have put so much effort into this."

The more she read, the clearer Yohan's love shone through. Memories surfaced of him playing kindly with her as a child.

After reviewing everything, Lucia leaned back and stared at the ceiling.

None particularly caught her eye. She'd heard of them vaguely, but knew none personally. They all seemed much the same.

Maybe because she no longer hoped for love, there was no spark of anticipation.

It was an arranged betrothal anyway, not born of love.

"They're all similar, so I should just meet them all once."

Faces would reveal more than paper profiles. You'd spend a lifetime with your spouse—better to judge firsthand.

She asked for little. Just someone compatible, diligent. That would suffice.

She couldn't love anyone anymore, regardless of him.

Lucia squeezed her eyes shut and straightened up.

On the desk sat Herwin's portrait, a music box with cherished mementos, and the diary she'd pulled out while drinking wine days ago.

Even glancing at them brought Herwin to mind.

She'd thought three days of tears had purged her feelings, but her chest still ached.

Just days ago, these treasures had been her world. Now, they hurt to even look at.

Leaving them out might let those sorted emotions creep back. Lucia stood quickly and gathered Herwin's things.

Temptation to keep some tugged at her, but she steeled herself and boxed them all.

"Now, if I call Sain to throw this away..."

She reached for the guitar but hesitated. Discarding them should sever all ties, yet she couldn't.

In the end, Lucia bit her lower lip and withdrew her hand.

She carried the box to a place she rarely visited.

Deep in the dress room, among outdated or outgrown clothes, she buried it in the wardrobe.

Lucia stared long at the hidden box amid the fabrics.

But soon, a deep sigh escaped as she blinked.

Her emotion-filled blue eyes settled calmly. The wardrobe door closed.

It was the moment a woman, who had gazed only at one man for thirteen long years, finally sorted her heart.