Chapter 6

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Translator: Harry Potta
Chapter: 1
Chapter Title: Past and Present
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Roena didn’t offer any excuses or retorts, simply answering, “Yes,” in a small voice.

It would have been better if she had told me how important Sir Halberd was to her, making me realize he was someone I could never have.

Then I would have found another way. I would have taken a step back, held my tongue, and bowed my head. I would have lain low, as if waiting for the right moment, thinking that I would have him someday, and then I would have sprinted down that path with all my might.

But Roena said nothing to me. Instead, she went to him with a pitiful expression and ‘asked’ him to serve me. Her words trailed off as she tearfully told him to protect me, a ‘lady’ far better than herself. She requested that he treat me gently, as he would think of her, for I was a precious person to her.

If she had truly intended to listen to me, she should have ‘ordered’ him, not asked. But by asking Rustein Halberd, Roena gave him a choice. It was an act she could afford because she knew Sir Halberd would not choose me.

And Rustein Halberd, a man with free will, naturally did not grant Roena’s ‘request.’ Instead, he came to me and, in his characteristically cool voice, spoke words that bordered on a warning. For me, it was a situation akin to despair. What was it he said to me?

“The only lady I will ever serve is Lady Roena. Until this life of mine is over. My sword exists to protect the Vischwartz family and Lady Roena.”

“I’m a Vischwartz, too. Why won’t you listen to Roena?”

“…The young miss only asked. She did not give an order.”

“So, you’ll listen if she orders you to?”

“I would sooner break my sword than let that happen. So I hope not to see you regarding this matter again.”

His heart was resolute. I was not reflected in his cold eyes. I felt a sharp, stinging pain run down my spine under his gaze. The direct coldness, the first I had ever received since entering the Vischwartz estate, was suffocating. He, Rustein Halberd, hated me.

The realization hit me like the sky falling.

Why? For what reason? Was it so wrong to ask for him? What’s the big deal?

But no one gave me an answer. My mother and I were just family to the Count in name only—fools who knew nothing of the important matters of the house.

After that, things unfolded predictably. I had somehow become the wicked older sister who childishly threw a tantrum at Roena, defying our stepfather’s authority, while Roena became the pitiful younger sister who tried to grant her sister’s rude request.

It was only natural that people started pointing fingers and whispering about me.

“Doesn’t she have a wild dream, wanting Sir Halberd to attend her when she has none of the etiquette or refinement befitting a count’s family?”

“Who would want to guard such a vulgar woman? Look, it’s been half a year since she came to the estate, and all she does is eat, sleep, buy dresses, and wear jewels. Nothing but extravagance. Just like her mother.”

“Exactly. I wonder if she even knows the meaning of the word ‘refinement.’ If she debuts in society like that, she’ll become a huge disgrace to the Count’s family. I don’t know if she’s even aware of her own position. It’s so embarrassing.”

“Compared to her, Lady Roena is the very epitome of an elegant lady. Such beauty and gentle grace. Ah, I think I understand why Sir Halberd is so loyal to Lady Roena. Not even a princess could compare to our young miss. I’m so envious of the others who serve her.”

“But look at us. It’s so frustrating.”

What I felt upon hearing their words was not anger, but shame. More than being shocked by the tone they used to call me ‘vulgar,’ I felt humiliated by the way they compared me to Roena.

To me, back then, Roena was just a kind-hearted fool. I believed the only difference between us was our birthright. But to think that Roena was superior to me—it was utterly unbelievable.

At the same time, a thought occurred to me. If I showed that I was more outstanding than Roena, would Sir Halberd look at me again?

Truthfully, I still don’t know. When I started to like him. When I began to yearn for him, clinging with an emotion bordering on obsession. It was just that, at some point, I naturally felt that I loved Sir Halberd. Before I knew it, my heart was filled with the man named Rustein Halberd.

Yes, there was no reason. Just standing before him made my face flush, my vision turn yellow, my legs tremble, and my breath quicken. If his gaze happened to fall on me, I was as happy as if I had the whole world. When he spoke to me out of necessity, I was so happy I could cry.

To me, Rustein Halberd was my entire life. That’s why I wanted him. By any means necessary.

But the time I was given was cruel. I had been unaware of what an incredible girl Roena, whom I had mocked as a naive fool, truly was.

Yes, four and a half years. The time when I despaired and cried out at my own incompetence. The memories of the days when I lost my self-esteem. Sadness, anger, and despair. Those fifty-four months that created Cisse Vischwartz, the monster who tormented Roena Vischwartz.

I slowly closed and opened my eyes. Then I turned my gaze to the Rustein Halberd of the present. I grieved that my returned heart was still beating so powerfully for him.

Why does my heart ache so, even though I know you will never look at me?

I clutched the handkerchief tightly. My lips trembled as I managed to speak.

“Thank you for your kindness, Sir. I will have this washed and returned to you later.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

I flinched at his reply, but only for a moment, then forced a natural smile.

Ah, yes. You always refused everything I gave you. Anything my hand touched. Because it wasn’t Roena.

You already know, Cisse. So what is there left to be hurt by that you’re this sad? You’re not the person you used to be. So just act like nothing’s wrong and walk past him.

I lifted the hem of my skirt and gave him a farewell with a natural curtsy.

“Please forget what you just saw. I ask this of you.”

Because I don’t want my name to be uttered from your lips. Fortunately, Sir Halberd nodded, granting my request. I let out a sigh of relief and walked past him.

I saw Sir Halberd’s lips part as if to say something to me, but I deliberately ignored him, pretending not to notice.

And when he was out of sight, I pressed the handkerchief in my hand to my nose and shed tears, burying the scent of Sir Rustein Halberd and his kindness, which I could never hope for again, deep in my heart.

A moment later, I loosened my grip. The handkerchief fluttered to the ground, but I didn't bother to pick it up. Instead, feigning composure as if nothing had happened, I walked toward my room. His scent lingered at the tip of my nose, but I acted nonchalant, as if it were nothing.

Thanks to that, by the time I reached my room, I had returned to being the same cunning and wicked villainess as always.

The kind of wicked woman who would smile spitefully at Marie, who greeted me with her whole body trembling, likely having already heard the rumors.

***

Right now, Marie must be utterly confused, not to mention feeling a sense of dread. Not only had she failed to properly humiliate me, but her own malicious deeds had been exposed.

Moreover, Mago had been dragged before my stepfather and given a severe scolding because of this incident, so how terrified must she be? Given the head maid’s personality, there was no way she would let Marie off easy.

Perhaps she would be demoted to cleaning the privies for the people of the estate or doing the drudgery of boiling laundry in the underground tower. Or maybe something even filthier. Mago was more than capable of arranging that.

What was certain was that Marie could no longer serve a member of the family directly. Having been branded a maid who didn’t even know the basic protocols, how could she?

This was tantamount to saying she could no longer enjoy the comfortable life she once had. The lives of a drudge and a personal maid to a young lady were worlds apart.

That must be why she was looking at me with such a pitiful gaze, rubbing her hands together as if begging for forgiveness. Ironically, in this situation, I was the only lifeline she could cling to.

I strode over to Marie and pressed her head down toward the floor. Then, I whispered to her as she let out a low scream.

“You’re still so stiff-necked you don’t know how to greet someone. To stand so insolently when your mistress has arrived. Must I teach you every little thing, from one to ten?”

“M-My lady, I’m sorry.”

I smiled coolly and pushed her backward onto the floor. She lost her balance and fell. A tearful scream escaped her lips.

“Shh, be quiet.”

I whispered.

“Or you might find the tongue in your mouth has gone missing.”

At that, Marie, her face a mess of tears, frantically nodded. I clicked my tongue at the sight of her.

“Poor Marie.”

“Yes, yes, my lady.”

“You seem to have heard the rumors. That must be why you’re trembling so pitifully, isn’t it? You poor thing. So, what did you hear?”

“I-I, uh…”

“Why are you so afraid? You’re completely different from this morning. It’s not like you.”

I took her lips between my fingers and pulled hard. I watched Marie’s lips stretch out like a duck’s bill and gave a chilling smile.

I paid no mind as her face turned bright red with pain. Instead, I asked in a cheerful, almost sing-song voice.

“Who told you this delightful news?”

I dare to confess that, before my return, I had a different disposition and character from other proper ladies.

Unlike them, who hid themselves beneath a veneer of refinement, I was not afraid to inflict corporal punishment on my subordinates and could, if necessary, resort to violence bordering on torture. Funnily enough, I seemed to have a natural talent for it, as I had become an expert at tormenting others.

That was why, even though the past me had used all sorts of torture methods to abuse Roena, no one knew she was suffering physically until the truth came out. I was that skilled at inflicting wounds. Thus, only I knew of the blue bruises hidden beneath the hem of her clothes.

So, toying with a girl like Marie is child’s play.

What should I do? At my whispered mumble, Marie shook her head violently, her eyes pleading. A strange, whimpering sound escaped her lips, laden with sobs.

It seemed she had realized my words were not an empty threat. Perhaps the casual violence of twisting her lips so mercilessly had filled her with a profound tension.

Was that why? Marie’s large eyes darted back and forth as she trembled like a leaf. Her deathly pale face was filled with terror of me.