Chapter 41

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Translator: Harry Potta
Chapter: 41
Chapter Title: What Do You See?
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I’d finally said it. I had resolved not to be upset even if Cesare refused, but the thought of being rejected to my face was still disheartening.

Aileen waited for his refusal, thinking, *It’s no use, is it?* But for some reason, Cesare chuckled and asked.

“You want me to hold your hand because you’re scared?”

I hadn't thought of that at all. I'd only asked because I thought I would feel much more at ease just having him by my side.

*But wouldn't it be even better if he held my hand?*

When Diego held my trembling hand in the dressing room, I had felt a sense of calm. If it was Cesare, of all people, holding my hand, I would surely feel even more reassured. Aileen answered in an even smaller voice.

“I would be grateful if you did…”

At her near-whisper, Cesare immediately took her hand. The force with which he grabbed it startled her. As Aileen flinched like a bird splashed with water, Cesare tilted his head and asked.

“Why? You don’t want me to hold it now?”

“No! You can do as you please.”

Only after answering so seriously did Aileen realize he was teasing her. Cesare led her as if escorting her.

Walking hand in hand inside the grand ducal residence felt strange. It was as if they were truly a newlywed couple.

The place he led her to was a drawing room. Of the many in the residence, it was the one where Aileen had once waited for him with the pocket watch. She was seated on the sofa where she had placed the watch box. She expected him to call for a hairdresser, but instead, Sonio suddenly appeared.

“Sir Sonio?”

“Do not worry. My skills are quite decent.”

Sonio explained in a gentle voice to a wide-eyed Aileen. He said he sometimes cut the other servants’ hair and that he could certainly trim Lady Aileen’s bangs.

She was well aware of Sonio’s dexterity. In the past, at the imperial palace, he used to carve small wooden flowers and animal figurines for her. But she never knew his skills were so exceptional that he could even trim someone else's hair.

Sonio draped a cloth around Aileen’s neck and, covering the scissors with his hand, said.

“You will be a little more at ease if I am the one to cut it, will you not?”

Of course, she felt much more relieved than she would have with a complete stranger. As Aileen gave a small nod, Cesare removed his gloves. Their bare hands touched. He slipped his fingers between hers, lacing them together.

Even though she was surrounded by familiar people, the awareness of the scissors made her tense. Aileen felt her breathing quicken. Just then, a gentle pressure was applied to their joined hands. Aileen glanced to her side.

“Keep your eyes closed.”

She gazed into his calmly flickering red eyes before shutting her own tightly. Then she straightened her head.

The cool touch of metal on her forehead made her flinch, and she gripped Cesare’s hand tightly. *Snip.* The first sound of the scissors came.

“Are you all right?”

“Yes, y-yes… I’m fine…”

Sonio began to cut again. Aileen remained as still as a statue, trying to focus solely on Cesare’s hand. She was terrified that if she moved incorrectly, the blades might graze her face.

She was trembling faintly with rising fear when he slowly rubbed her palm with his thumb.

…!

Startled by the sudden movement, she couldn't move and could only tremble her fingers. She tried to pull her hand away, but their tightly interlaced fingers wouldn't budge.

The slower the pad of his finger caressed her palm, the stranger she felt. A tingling sensation shot up from somewhere near her tailbone, and it felt as if the hair on her arms was standing on end.

It was a simple movement, nothing special. She didn't even usually pay any mind to her palms, but just because it was Cesare, her body reacted strangely.

Perhaps it was because she remembered the things he had done to her with that very finger. How he had unhesitatingly rubbed her most sensitive spot…

Unable to bear the peculiar sensation, she splayed her hand open, and Cesare, with a low chuckle, lightly scraped her skin with his nail. Aileen unknowingly held back a sound that threatened to escape as a dizzying sensation traveled up her spine.

To have such lewd thoughts in broad daylight. She would have no excuse if someone called her incorrigible.

While she was struggling with her thoughts, the rhythmic snipping of the scissors had stopped at some point.

“All done.”

At the same time, Cesare let go of her hand. Aileen quickly escaped his grasp and took a small breath.

It was hard to believe it was already over. Her attention had been so completely captivated by their clasped hands that she hadn't paid any mind to the scissors.

To think that something so frightening and terrifying could pass so quickly… It would have been impossible if not for Cesare.

Her vision was so clear. The unobstructed view felt awkward, and she reached to adjust her glasses, but her hand only grasped at empty air. She remembered she had taken them off for the haircut and awkwardly lowered her hand.

Sonio gently brushed her face with a soft cloth and handed her a hand mirror.

“What do you think? This old man is quite pleased, but I do not know how Lady Aileen will find it.”

Even when she looked in the mirror, all she saw was the same black monster. Instead of the mirror, Aileen looked at Sonio and Cesare. She gauged her own appearance from their eyes and expressions.

“I like it, too. Thank you, Sir Sonio.”

If they all seemed satisfied, then that was enough. Aileen smiled brightly and thanked Sonio. Sonio said he would clean up the cut hair, gathered the cloth, and left.

Now, only the two of them remained in the drawing room. They were still holding hands.

The moment she realized they were alone, a strange tension filled the air. Her throat felt dry, and she swallowed needlessly. Aileen cautiously glanced to her side.

“You must be busy. Thank you for making time for me.”

To dare take up the Grand Duke’s time for a mere haircut. He had truly indulged her unreasonable request. She was choosing her words, wanting to express a little more of her gratitude.

“Aileen.”

He picked up the hand mirror Aileen had set down and held it out to her.

“What do you see?”

Forced to look into the clear mirror, Aileen froze. She didn't want him to see her flaws. She was already scratched and damaged all over, but she wanted to hide at least one thing. But lying in front of Cesare was not easy.

“…The truth is.”

As if cornered, Aileen confessed the truth to him.

“I can’t see my face properly. It’s painted black, just like a monster…”

Even as she spoke, she kept watching his reaction. She tried to maintain a casual tone, so as not to seem too mentally unwell.

“That’s all. Everything else is fine.”

As she spoke, she felt her heart begin to race again. It felt as if the monster in the mirror would swallow her whole. As if not just her face, but her entire body would be stained pitch black.

There was a reason she had avoided mirrors all this time. Aileen swallowed a short groan. Unconsciously, she looked down at their joined hands. A man’s hand, with blue veins on the back and distinct knuckles.

Did he sense her unconscious wish in her gaze? Cesare lifted Aileen in a single motion and sat her on his lap. He held her in his arms like a child and took her hand again. A large hand and a small hand were layered together.

She was well past the age of majority; she shouldn't be acting like a child. But his embrace was so warm and comforting. Aileen pretended not to notice and leaned her head against Cesare’s chest.

After enjoying the serene comfort for a long while, she lifted her head again to meet his eyes. Cesare, who seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, immediately fixed his gaze on Aileen.

“My bangs… Do you like them cut? They’re not unpleasant to look at, are they? My eyes are a bit grotesque, after all.”

After saying it, she felt she had been too frantic. Aileen quickly added another word.

“I’m sorry for asking so many questions. I was just curious.”

He leaned forward, gently touching their foreheads together. Her entire vision filled with his red eyes.

“I have seen you since you were ten years old. Have I ever said such a thing?”

Cesare continued slowly.

“Have I ever told you that you were grotesque, or repulsive, Aileen?”